wha-pow!

I'm feeling very productive and positive today! I have ups and downs, like over the past year I gained the delightful mental disorder of bipolar! o.O not seriously, well not medically actual. Just I've been crazy emotional. I get stressed then angry or sad and lash out at Jose ;c the person I love. We decided that I need to fix this and to stop worrying so much and to go back to how I used to be. Or at least be a happier person in general. So I wrote 3 pages of like. idk reasons why I might be this way and ways to improve it basically. One of them is to blog! so hopefully this will help me x) I'll probably blog a lot. Like close to everyday d;

Today I plan to try and reconnect with some old friends and to talk things over with Jose so that we can do this together and stuff. Plus if someone knows about all the changes I want to make then I'm more likely to do them.

I haven't even thought about eating today v.v I had some cole slaw but I barely ate it and I'm getting very hungry but I'm just putting it off d; One of my goals is to eat 1,000 to 1,600 calories a day. Plus I plan on exercising, also I will try my hardest to eat nutritious foods. So I'm leaning in the healthy range. Which is good! as long as it works d: I haven't really set a weight goal, just like, I want a flat stomach d; cause man! if I get bloated I look like I'm about to pop out a baby, and I need ab muscles so that doesn't happen anymore xD Also not get bloated but yeah.

I hate making Jose unhappy :/ that's one of my problems. I try way to hard and then I take away my own happiness and then end up lashing out or making him unhappy in the end cause I'm unhappy. Bah. It's crazy. I need to learn that, by making myself more happy, I'll most likely be able to be happy with Jose and he'll be happy as well. It's crazy I don't know. Well I got a lot going on in my mind right now but I think I got everything under control. (control d: another thing I have a problem with) hopefully I'll stay happy! Today has to go good.

Hopefully I won't post more later venting d: Have a god day everyone!

<3 -Audri