First day back to school. It was basically shit. I need my privileges so I can sit out in my car for an hour and fifteen min crying softly to myself. I already feel stressed. I'm too afraid to go out and get a job. I hate being a failure. I feel huge and stupid. Jose is idk. He's just.. trying to prove himself right I guess. Prove that he'll be too busy for me. That he will end up not wanting to deal with me. That I'll be too big of a stress in his life. Even though the shit we had last year, at least I had him. I could count on him being there. Now I just feel like a pain in the ass. My head hurts. Even that, why would I complain about that, well I can't even if I should or wanted to cause jose has a bigger one then I do.
ugh. and now I have to go and play happy go lucky trying to be perfect girlfriend and some how dry my eyes and clear my nose cause he's coming to get me. idk why. why can't he just get this pain over with so I don't have to deal with it anymore.
EDIT
Okay done and over with the whining, sorry, but to continue my post, I have more to tell. Still got the headache. Jose is sleeping, i'm outside working on homework and stuff.
Food intake: Peanut Butter toast. A few carrots. Fruit Cup. I think that's it? yeah so like 400cal or less. cool. Whatever. Dinner I have no idea. So yeah.
First day I guess wasn't as bad as I'm making it seem. I have good classes. The hard ones are the ones I'm generally interested in. So it's less of a chore. People in my classes are fine. Everything's fine. Okay I'm starting to get hungry now, boo, hour or so till dinner, I'll hold off. Not sure what else to write so yes. So long.
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