update

I've been eating like a normal person. Sooner or later somethings going to trigger me back but I'm thinking that I'm "raising my metabolism" and "it'll be fine, you won't gain" and things of that nature. I can see it though...

I did yoga this morning and sit ups. I want to start doing that every morning. At least I'll feel like I'm doing something and it might help with whatever stress that I have.

Speaking of stress, those plans I wrote up didn't go as I hoped. I'm still technically getting things done, it's just not the way I want to and I'm procrastinating way too much. (cough cough like now.) But I also want to do more. Like I should study German independently so I can get this stuff better. And of course Anatomy I could be preparing for all the time. Same thing with History.

I should get a job too but I'm kind of just waiting till the second half of the year(school year). Maybe then I'll have things down and under control.

Plus there's Jose. Oh my love.

I need to go onto the college website and figure out everything I need to get done. I'm kind of wanting to go out of state. You know, start new. Plus I think I need to be pushed into the situation. Like if I'm not almost forced to get a job or forced to move out I'll probably abuse the situation. I need to know what tests I should take/take again. How smart I need to be.

Don't even get me started on what I want my major to be. ugh. I'm still kind of thinking dietitian. It'll be alright...

I kind of just am overwhelmed with all these things. I also hate that my response is to not think about it, put it off, and sleep away my thoughts.

I don't want to fail at this.

Why can't I handle the things that everyone else seems to handle with ease.. Why couldn't I have been able to pick almost any school that I wanted.. Why have I rushed into this faster then I needed too.. Why am I trying to hold on so dearly to childhood.. and why do I feel like I'm going to loose everything.

People don't like change.