I know I know

I know I just posted but I just feel like writing so listen! I'm really thirsty all of a sudden. I really need to keep up with water intake but it's kinda hard at school, I never like to go during class and the breaks between classes are too short so I've gotten into the habit of not going doing school and just waiting till home. The only problem with this is when I drink a whole water bottle by like 11 I have 3 hours till I get home. I just rather not drink a whole lot, it's easier.

I'm pretty tired. I got a lot of stuff done this morning and me and Jose went out to eat and went to the mall. It was kind of a sucky anniversary. I wonder if I could convince him to sleep over. hmm :/ He doesn't really care too much about actually sleeping with another person, he actually prefers to sleep alone. I'm completely different of course x) I think his whole problem is that he needs space, his preferred blankets and pillows and not to be bothered. His bed is too small so that gets in the way with the room thing. My bed fits us perfectly but it's not his pillows and blankets (even though I think he secretly likes them cause every time he's over he somehow falls asleep.) and I get up early. So I would bother him. But I love being with him. Not only just in general but I just feel so much better when I sleep with him. I never have any bad dreams, I wake up nice, it's warm, it's comfy. idk. I don't usually have a problem falling asleep but once I'm rested that's it. It's like okay whatever time to get up. there's no, oh let me sleep for just a little longer, but with him I'd picture it would be. oh blah it's all just talk. I still kinda just want to have a comfy day tomorrow with him though. I could probably convince him of that.

I'm stuffed to the rafters. is that the word you use in that saying? Well I'm still overly full. We were done eating at 2. It is now almost 7. I'm pretty sure I'm not eating again today. We had olive garden. I had this dish that had mussels, clams and shrimp in a sweet tomato and garlic sauce. It was supposed to have pasta with it but I don't like pasta. I have no idea how many calories it was. I know seafood is generally low in calories but that sauce could have has a lot of calories. Plus I had bread sticks and salad. Oh yeah, and dessert. I'm guessing around 1,000.. probably more. ugh v.v thinking about it makes me feel terrible. before that I only had 100 calories though.. if it was a normal day I would probably only have 500 but nah. I want to lose a few pounds by homecoming. I'd wear a dress. and I don't want to look like a slob.

I hate saying this but Jose needs to lose weight. v.v like it's getting kinda bad. Maybe I baby him too much, maybe I need to tell him to try and lose some weight. Over the summer I would always ask if he wants to exercise with me or diet with me. He never would. He wants to be happy. He enjoys food. But, there's a way to have yummy food and still lose weight. I mean he'd lose weight if he ate 1,500 calories and jogged for a half hour a day. talking to a girl who could fit 500 calories into a day and feel fine, 1,500 is a lot to work with. He could still have taco bell, he could have subway, he could even have a pop a day. It's just frustrating. Maybe he sees me stressing over food and calories so much that he just doesn't want to add that extra stress onto his life. I just want him to be happy. And deep down I don't think he is happy with himself. Food tastes good for only so long. The after effects can last a lifetime. I'm pretty sure he's gained about 60lbs since he met me. I feel terrible. Like really super bad. I feel like it's my fault v.v I mean yeah I gained a little weight too but I lost it. I've been maintaining. I can't force him to do anything though. maybe I can convince him to do it for like a week or two. I think if he saw some results then maybe.. idk v.v I just want to help him so bad. But no matter what I still love him. He's double my weight but I'm still attracted to him. ;sigh; d;

I wanted to get some flats but he doesn't like flats. like the shoe type... there were these cute $10 shoes (not flats). He liked uhm too. Not so much as the other kinds. idk. I just felt like I needed some new ones. I wonder when the mall closes.. I'm gonna go buy them now x)

I bought them! aha. So yeah. I'm now super tired. idk why it's only 8:30. I'm probably gonna study anatomy terms and fall asleep to discovery health.

sorry for the random ramble about the nonsense in my life! but oh well. Just felt like talkin.