Done

Okay, I'm done now, lets go back to everything being normal again.
I hate this.
hateithateithateithateit.
I went back to school today. Ya know he was all "I want to be friends still and hang out and talk" well I mean... friends still talk to each other in the hall. Friends still eat lunch together. Friends still talk to each other in class.
I'm just so alone.
Any other friends I have are his and I just feel like they look at me differently now and I make things awkward. I mean.. I wasn't talking to them just cause they were my boyfriends friend so I never thought they were just talking back because they had to.
I just...

He's going to get over this.
And I'm terrified.

He's so much apart of me.
I can't just give that up.

I'm completely unmotivated to do anything. I just want to sleep. Or hide forever away from the world. Never show my face again to society. Basically anything.

I hate this fucking feeling. It's just empty. Nothing matters. It's all shit.

I don't want to be left in the dirt.

I guess the good thing is I completely have lost my appetite for any food at all, hunger is extremely easy to ignore and basically the only reason I am eating because I know I have to.

And what if I got too skinny and he wouldn't want me back because of that...

Just fuck everything.